When the shine wears off

Mismatched and unrealistic expectations cause tension in relationships between people. And it is the same with our relationship with property.

We all have expectations of property. What our dream home looks like. What it will feel like to be a homeowner. What our neighbours will be like. And because we are normal human beings, some of our expectations are unrealistic and mismatched.

In a personal relationship, we have a few options available when we get a hint that things are not as we expected. We can ask questions, clarify expectations, and decide whether we want to (and can) meet them. Or, we can compromise without a conversation, pinning our hopes of happiness on some other aspect of the relationship.

I think our options with our relationship with property are similar. We buy our dream home, then find that working 50 hours per week to pay the mortgage means we're not enjoying ourselves as we thought we might. Or we purchase our first home and discover that responsibility requires effort and attention and instead of feeling free and satisfied, we're constrained and stressed.

Not many of us take the option of pausing, reflecting, clarifying our expectations and whether we want to (or can) have them met. 

I'm interested in what a set of realistic expectations of property would be. To establish an approach to our relationship with land ownership that is mutually beneficial, rather than one-sided.